Tell that mean ocean.

I feel like the world is becoming a completely different place, where all of the old careers are in shambles. Nothing is reliable anymore, and I am supremely curious to see what will pop up in the absence of all that was. I am 27 and already I feel completely obsolete, completely unprepared to enter any of these emerging fields we're all talking about. When I entered college, all of the old things still seemed like options, but now, my best shot at finding sustainable income is creating a cleverly themed blog centered around a particular sort of photo or recipe, which we all know would run for about 2 years, turn into a book and clothing line, and then quietly fizzle out.

The world is moving far too fast for any of us, but at least we're all being left behind together.  Falling fortunes leave us all in search of better ways to fill our time, creative and free ways, and I am so down with that.  Falling fortunes remind us that fortunes are not the point anyway.  Politicians and economists scramble to identify problems, advertisers search for more and more ways to make us feel incomplete, and we plant gardens, write stories and go for mountain hikes, take the kids for ice cream, build forts in the living room.  So I will be lower middle class to poor forever, so I will never have tons of things.  Who needs 'em?  D.I.Y.  Whatever you want, go and make, feel your own means of creation, wave goodbye to capitalist alienation.  Cut your own hair.  Make your own guacamole.  It's all free.

Sometimes I am a clam shut up tight, and other times I am a river, pouring pouring, incessantly pouring, unshutup-able, and I wish for a happy medium, although I do love the pouring.  If the pouring didn't stop so abruptly, if it tapered and trickled for a bit, but no, it pours and pours til I am all dried up, til "That's all I have to say about that," and that's that.

Spring is here, corner turned, and I want to go stay with my gay aunts, sail out through the marshes to the beach every day and lay beached on the shore in the sun in the sand reading Twilight or some awful thing til I die, it's spring, I want the sun.