And it continues...

I keep posting because I have a paper to write, which keeps me at my computer, but procrastination in my bones, which keeps me at the blogging.

I had a dream last night that was crazy. I was half asleep (in the dream) for a lot of it, and couldn't keep my eyes open, and was totally confused about what was going on. I kept asking my brother where Mom was, and he would say "you don't want to know." It was like J. was my guide in this crazy world. And finally, I woke up, and he took me to a room where the women from my home church were busy busy. From what I overheard of their conversation, it seems they were orchestrating the world, particularly our youth group. It was as though there were certain personality types that had to be present in the youth group, and once someone, for instance, Sherri, got too old, they had to find another tall, skinny, long-black-haired country girl to replace her. This was disturbing.

Finally, J. could restrain me no longer, and I headed toward Mom's master bedroom in our mansion. I guess we had a mansion in the dream. And she was being totally crazy. She was in a nightgown (as always), but was watching a movie with the scary woman from the Goonies in it. Goonie was furiously planting plants and stomping on them, while foaming at the mouth, a fierce look in her eyes. Mom turned from the tv screen and began doing the same thing. Dad was trying to stop her, but standing back, and I could not stop staring into her wild eyes.

This dream is consistent with my more recent dreams of Mom, in that I forget that she is dead. But it's a departure, and returns to older dreams, in that she is disturbed and angry and incommunicable. It worries me.