I seem to be working better on pure self-motivation than I have been working for the past year on school-motivation. Half the reason I stay in school is that I know I would never bother learning if someone wasn't forcing me to, but NOT TRUE. The past few days, I've done tons of reading and tons more REFLECTING (aka actual learning), and cleaning around the house and laundry and spending time with people I care about. It's like my life is actually balanced. This is, of course, because I have absolutely NO demands on my time, and I wonder. Why do people have to work? It sucks up so much time. I swear, I need to get a job where I can work on comission, and work about 2 hours a day. and get off whenever I want to, for weeks at a time. Because when you actually have time to care for yourself and to do things that matter for you, you're much freer to care for other people. I feel better than I've felt in months. Of course, I suppose if we all did this, there'd be no one to come and fix our air conditioners or bake our birthday cakes or process our medical claims or harass us on the phone for the hottest new deals, and then how would the world keep spinning? But you would think that without a "career," your life would feel less meaningful, but I think the opposite could be true. At least, for 1 week spurts. What is a meaningful life anyway? except sharing life with others? and learning. and enjoying.
Doot de doo.
But whatever, I know I'd probably get bored with this after, say, 3 weeks, so I'll just take this for what it is, a much needed mini-reprieve after a draining semester. And I'll get all I can out of it, and put as much as I can into it, and then move on. To the fear! of finding a fugging summer job! Yikes!
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